As it's very near and dear to our hearts...at least mine...We bring to you:

THE WORLD'S FASTEST TOILET!

( With an automatic flush, 140cc engine, 4 gears and toilet roll holder exhaust) LOL

The Iowa Wage and Hour Department claimed a man owning a
small farm was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent to interview him.

"I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the agent.

"Well, there are my hired hands. One has been with me for four years; the other for three. I pay them each $600 a week, plus  free room and board. The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $500 a month plus free room and board.

Then there's the half-wit that works here about 18 hours a day. He takes home $10 a week and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every week," replied the farmer.

"That's the guy I want to talk to; the half-wit," said the agent.

The farmer said, "That would be me."

My friend Willie's is: "my spleen fell out"

A new survey asked  bosses to name the DUMBEST excuse they'd ever heard from an employee trying to  get out of work.  And if THESE are the lies people tell, they really need  to learn to lie better.  Here's the top 10:

#10.)  "I dyed my hair the wrong  color."

#9.)  "My dog is scared and I don't  want to leave him."

#8.)  "I drank too much and fell asleep  on someone's floor, but I don't know where I am."

#7.)  "I'm taking a bath and my toe is  caught in the faucet."

#6.)  "My pants split on the way to  work."

#5.)  "The dog ate my  shoes."

#4.)  "I hurt myself during  sex."

#3.)  "I'm stuck in the house because  the door is broken."

#2.)  "My girlfriend bit me in a  'sensitive' place."

#1.)  "My mom just died" . . . from an  employee who'd used that excuse once before.

Read more: http://www.y969.com/pages/BigYmorningshow.html#ixzz2TsVsmoDL

A New YouTube Workout Video Includes a Guy in the Background . . . Sitting on the Toilet

But at two points in the video, you can distinctly see a bathroom with its door open in the background . . . and there's a guy sitting on the toilet.

You can see him at :20 and :33.